Giving Thanks Every Day

The American holiday of Thanksgiving only comes once a year.  This November holiday is our one time of the year where we can spend a few minutes to focus on being thankful.  It’s now early March, and Thanksgiving is long gone.  Are you still thankful?

Expecting perfection

I have witnessed a large number of people expecting things of others.  The times I see their expectations to be most evident is when dining out.  They expect to be greeted in a timely manner.  They expect their greeter to be friendly and polite.  They expect their waiter or waitress to promptly stop by their table to take a drink order.  They expect the drinks to arrive quickly.  They expect the food order to be taken quickly.  They expect the food to arrive quickly.  They expect drinks to be refilled at the exact moment they suck the last bit through the straw.  They expect the bill to be dropped off at the exact minute their dinner has been consumed.  It seems to me this is a lot to expect from someone who is likely waiting on a number of other tables and rushing frantically from table to table.  I’ve even seen these very same expectations when we drop in with a group of 20 people and no reservations.

Here’s the rub, it’s usually not the service that is the problem, it’s our expectation of the service.  We enter the situation with a predetermined expectation, and we are irritated or angry when all doesn’t go as we expect.  Perhaps we need to shift our expectations from top notch service at McDonalds or Applebee’s or even a fancy steak restaurant.  Instead of focusing on the service provided by others, we should be focus on the enjoyment we will have spending that time with our friends or family.  When I go out to eat, I don’t do it purely for the sustenance; I can eat at home.  I go out to enjoy time with the people I’m with, and perhaps to sample some new or different food.

Expect only that which is in my control

I expect to have a good time, and since I control my own feelings, I am rarely disappointed.  I expect things of myself, not of others.  My expectation is limited to the things I control.  If it’s out of my control I try to have no expectations.  If I get unusually superb service, then I am pleasantly surprised and I feel good.  If service is poor, and I have some nice conversation over dinner, then I’m still happy.  Don’t approach life as a king or queen expecting others to do as you command.  Others are not here to serve us.  They are here working their way through their own lives, and our paths just happened to cross.

This extends beyond restaurants and dining, they just happen to be a good example.  It works for any interaction with others.  You can certainly have expectations for yourself.  And, you can expect that others will do what is right for themselves in their own situations.  But you cannot expect others to do what is right for you in your situation.  Trust me, life will be more pleasant if you let go of some of those expectations of others.  Focus on yourself.  Focus on what you control.  Focus on making your life happy and being thankful for what you have.

Be Thankful

I am thankful for the fast food drive through attendant.

I am thankful for the backline cook, whipping up some dinner.

I am thankful for the waitress who brings me some dinner.

I am thankful for the mail carrier that delivers my mail.

I am thankful for the mechanic who fixes my cars.

I am thankful for the ride attendant that operates the rides as Disney.

I am thankful for the 24 hour Walmart worker that makes it possible for me to shop for who knows what at two in the morning.

I am thankful for the housekeeper that cleans the hotel room when I’m traveling.

I am thankful for the readers of my blog.

This list could go on for days.  These people that work in the service industry don’t have to work in these jobs.  Businesses don’t have to operate in a manner that allows maximum convenience for their customers.  These individuals and businesses have their own reasons for doing so, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am thankful for them.

I make it a point to say “Thank you” whenever someone performs a service for me.  When that bag of fast food comes through the window, I tell that person, “Thank you.”  When I check out at the supermarket I say, “Thank you.”  I don’t know if it means anything to them.  I like to think it does, but more importantly it means something to me.

Show your thanks with a tip

When I can, I also show my thanks with a tip.  Tipping in many service industries has come to be expected.  So much so that restaurants pay their wait staff less than minimum wage (much less actually.)  The US government allows them to do this.  Why?  Because the tip has become expected.  The tip is supposed to ensure better service, but I’m not sure it really accomplishes this goal.  I prefer to tip just for receiving the service.  It’s my way of saying thanks for bringing my dinner or cleaning my hotel room.

A real life example

This weekend, I found an unexpected benefit from approaching life from a thankful perspective with few expectations.  I went out to eat with some friends.  I was enjoying myself as was my family.  The folks at the other end of the table seemed to be enjoying themselves less.  I’m not sure why, maybe they had a bad day, or maybe they had some unmet expectations.  Whatever the reason, I could sense it.  I was happy to be out eating dinner with my friends and family.  I was really having a great time, and could have cared less about the food.  I wonder if the law of attraction may have kicked in here.  My family had fantastic service.  We received our food in a timely manner, had everything we needed, and my drinks were refilled before they even hit the half way mark.  The other end of this very same table, with the very same waitress did not receive this same great service.  Some of their items were missing, drinks were not refilled as fast, and their service was just all around mediocre.

My challenge to you is to be mindful of your expectations of others and to be thankful for all the wonderful things in your life and all the terrific people around you.

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Tagged as: Disney, Family, Friends, Happiness, Personal Responsibility, Vacation