The Campfire – A Collaborative Discussion of Happiness

Krissa Lopez – HalfAsstic.com

Well, this should be fun! I mean writing about happiness would almost have to be, wouldn’t it?

I really think that while the big, wonderful things are most thought of when someone says, “What makes you happy?”, it’s the small things that we absolutely can’t live without. Well, not and maintain our daily lives at a happy status quo.

Right now I hear my daughter upstairs with a friend of hers and they are both laughing hysterically at something silly and inane. It makes me smile every time they burst out laughing. These are the things that make us happy and keep us happy without us knowing it or even thinking about it.

Taking stock each night in prayer or just plain old reassessment is a good way to maintain a sunny disposition. I mean when you actually think over the entire day and realize all the things you have to feel grateful for and happy about, it’s quite eye-opening.

My wheelchair bound, mother-in-law is Catholic and today the priest came to our home to visit with her, hear her confession and give her communion. I have been having trouble lately with her due to her increasing dementia combined with her negativism. I feel sure that she is going to be a much happier, lighthearted, little old lady now that she has seen him. At least for a while.

This? I am truly grateful for and it makes me happy.

Patrenia Donald-Spears – PersonalFinanceNotebook.com

Happiness is peace.  Happiness is balance.  Happiness is true contentment.  Happiness is forgiveness.  Happiness is <what is your definition>. You see, I don’t believe that there is ONE thing that can truly make us happy.  It is a compilation of many.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. –Dalia Lama

Happiness cannot be achieved haphazardly.  You are not going to receive a knock at the door with happiness appearing and saying, “I’m here!”  It’s also not going to be achieved by waiting for someone to come along and make you happy.  What if they never show up?  Then you have wasted precious time.

I can remember a few years ago, I would always say, “I’ll be happy when _________.”  Well, when “when” came, there was a new goal of “I’ll be happy when _______.”  I realized that if I kept waiting or needed these perfect situations to be happy, then it was NEVER going happen.

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. – Jim Rohn

Happiness must be sought purposefully, daily.  It must come from a place within.  We all have it.  We are born with it.  It’s just a matter of finding it deep inside.  And keeping it no matter what happens around us.

Yes, we all have our brushes with some form of disappointment or tragedy.  Job loss.  Lack of money.  Horrible accidents.  The loss of loved ones.  Bodily afflictions.  Many of these things are beyond our control, but we can determine if we will allow our joy to be stolen.  Don’t worry or think too much about tomorrow.  Just do the best you can for today.

Eric Watermolen – EdenJournal.com

Happiness to me is a constant state of being.  It’s a way of life.  As humans, we are evolved enough to have a moderate amount of control over our emotions.  We have the power of choice.  This power of choice and the feeling and control of emotions are great powers indeed.  It is surely one of the many things that set us apart from the other beings that inhabit our planet.

If we have such a great power, then we may as well make good use of it.  I make use of my power by choosing to be happy almost all the time.  Every once in a while I choose to feel sad, but just to enhance the happiness I’ll feel later.  Happiness feels good, and since I like to feel good, I choose to be happy.

Even though we have that choice to be happy, it doesn’t always come easy, especially when we’re in the beginning stages of finding our happiness.  Growing up, I was usually pretty happy, but it wasn’t yet a way of life.  I think the realization of happiness as a choice came sometime after I finished high school.  I’m sure it was in a couple of self improvement books that I read.  The one that stands out was Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill.  That book really hit home with me and made it clear that I get to choose how to feel and how to guide my life.  That got me started with daily affirmations where I would tell myself how wonderful my day would be.  I saw in a movie (I think it was Ferris Beuler’s Day Off, but it might have been another movie) where one of the characters said, “Every day I clap my hands together and say, Today is a great day!”  I really liked that idea, and many years later I continue to start my day in this manner.  It really sets a happy tone for the entire day and makes happiness come naturally.

Annabel Candy – GetInTheHotSpot.com

Happiness is what life’s all about. If you’re not happy with your daily life then you need to fix that right now. Life’s too short to be unhappy.

I’ve suffered from depression and it was a miserable, joyless existence. The good thing about that is now that I’m better I’ve vowed that I’m never going back to that bleak life again.

I’ve spent a lot of time working out what makes me happy and what doesn’t. I constantly focus on being happy in the present and practice doing the things that make me happy every day. You should too.

Here are my five tips for happiness:

1. Prioritize happiness

Actively seek out happiness. Note what makes you happy and use all five of your senses. Here are five things that make me happy: the smell of oranges, my ipod playlist, walking on the beach, stroking cats and the taste of chocolate. They’re all cheap or free, easily accessible and only take a few minutes to give me the lift I need. I wrote a list of 101 ways to be happy and it was the quickest post I ever wrote. I was amazed by how many resources we have for feeling happy. Try making one for yourself (or use mine) so that you’ve got ideas for being happy ready when you need them.

2. Be selfish

The reason my depression got so bad was because I spent more time thinking about and looking after other people than I did myself. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones to take care of yourself first.

3. Help other people

When you’ve looked after yourself schedule some time helping other people. Voluntary work does make you feel better about yourself and it needn’t eat up too much of your time. I spend 30 minutes twice a week helping students with reading at my kids school. Picking up litter’s a quick easy way to give back whenever you can.

4. Be grateful

Stop moaning and being a victim. Look at how much you have right now and rejoice. If you’re struggling with this one it could be because you’re making the wrong comparisons. Don’t compare what you’ve got with what your friends, relatives or more affluent neighbours have. Some people in this world are homeless or subsistence farmers, others have HIV and no access to medication or care. Many families are living in fear and poverty in war torn countries. If you’re reading this then you have access to a computer and the Internet which already makes you so much better off than most of the world population. How many things have you got to be grateful for?

5. Exercise

If you’re tired, stressed or feeling down exercise is the best way to pick yourself up. If you’re under pressure it’s the best way to take time out. I use exercise as preventative medicine to keep me happy and recommend you exercise daily too. Forget grueling gym workouts though, do something you enjoy like dancing, surfing, kayaking or cycling. Or indulge yourself with the best exercise of all time and a great way to boost your happiness ~ a walk in the fresh air.

Just thinking about it makes me feel happy!

Patty Bechtold – WhyNotStartNow.wordpress.com

All this talk of happiness has me wondering: What, exactly, is this quest about?

Are we seeking permanent cheerfulness? Unstoppable mirth? And are we really on the right track?

Probably not, considering that just about everything I’ve read about happiness so far points to the truth that we’re not very good at envisioning the arc of our lives. And as several authors have noted, we’re even worse at predicting what will make us happy.

That’s because true happiness is usually about inner rather than outer, but for the most part we’re taught to focus on outer. And that often leads us to a place of endless striving, with little satisfaction.

For instance, if I’m focusing only on outer, and yearning to live in a house by the ocean, then I may do everything I can to try to make that happen. Yet, the jury’s still out about whether that will fulfill me the way I think it will, or even if I can achieve that goal.

But if I stop for a moment to understand the archetypal imagery of a house by the ocean, I begin to see that the house represents me, my inner life, my relationship with myself. And the ocean, with all its vast beauty and secrets, represents the mysteries within. The treasure, if you will, there for the taking if I’m willing to do a little digging.

All of which is much more complex, and meaningful, than simply setting a goal to be happy by accomplishing the tasks that we think will get us there.

So my hunch is that most people seeking happiness are actually longing for more meaning in their lives. And at the end of the day, the question to ask ourselves is not, “Was I happy today?” but rather “Was today meaningful?”

It’s a little like the stories you hear of people at the end of their lives. When asked what made them happiest, they remember dancing barefoot in the grass. Eating ice cream with their children. Spooning with their lovers.

They don’t think so much about the killer business deal they made. Or even about how many subscribers they had for their blog.