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We live in a world filled with large amounts of negativity and lots of negative people. People that lack compassion for others, people that like to rain on your parade, people that like to constantly one up you. Sometimes it makes it difficult to be a positive person in this negative world. Let me share a few examples with you.
You are lucky my store exists to sell you my wares
Today I had an experience where I tried to purchase an item for its marked price, only to find out that it was mismarked. I got the feeling from the salesperson that I should be lucky they had this item at all. He told me the price in the computer was the price I’d have to pay. He did offer to price match some other stores, but the whole vibe I got was that they were doing me a real favor by simply existing. I’m sure I could have spoken to the manager and maybe gotten this item for the mismarked price, but it really wasn’t worth my time to do so.
Wham bam thank you m’am, next patient
I’ve also had some experiences with doctors recently, where they simply want to treat the symptoms and then move on. They won’t take any more of their highly valuable time to actually find the cause of the ailment. It seems really hard to find a doctor that will actually spend even a few extra minutes to talk to their patients.
Everything about me is better than you
Less recently I’ve had friends that always try to one-up me on anything I’m talking about. (Actually there is one guy at work like this right now, but I don’t see him too often.) One-upmanship has no business in a friendship. I might like to talk to my friends about a new gizmo for my Jeep or a new doo-dad for my house. If I do, I’m proud of said item, and want to share my experiences. I do not want to hear how much better yours is, or all the reasons my stuff sucks. These friends are poisonous to my happy self, and I have gradually disassociated myself from friends like this. (To any of my disassociated friends that happen to be reading this, I’m probably not talking about you, but if I am, we can still be friends if you can keep it positive.)
I am not a pawn in this world, I have control over me
I have the power to choose the people I spend time with, the businesses I frequent, and the doctors I see. That choice is up to me, and I’m choosing positive, happy, helpful people to be around.
I don’t shop at stores that don’t value me as a customer. If you don’t want me as a customer I’ll go to someone who does. I don’t have time to argue with sales people or haggle with managers. I’ll take my money and spend with a store where my business is appreciated.
I go elsewhere for medical assistance. I’ll bounce around to a few different doctors until I find one that will discuss my symptoms AND the underlying cause. One that cares how I’m feeling. Actually I did this with my eye doctor. He sold his practice and after a couple visits with the new eye doctor and the horrible service that accompanied those visits, I tracked down my original doctor to find out where he moved to. He moved across town and I am absolutely willing to drive across town to see him. He takes time to talk to me, asks me how things are going, takes the time to make sure my contacts fit right, and tries as many times as necessary to make sure I get a good fit and am happy with my vision. Not only does he take the time to perform all the services that a good eye doctor should, he also talks to me on a personal level, like a real human being. He asks about my life, and he shares some of his. That is service worth driving across town for. Heck I’d even drive to another town for that kind of service.
With friends, I have realized that friends will come and go. There is no need to hang onto friends for our entire lives. We can choose the people we associate with, and I choose to be around positive, happy people that will listen to my stories and be genuinely happy for me. And people that I can do the same for in return.
Keep what works and discard the rest
I guess you could say I keep what works and get rid of what doesn’t. I discard the negativity and readily accept the positive. I also use the law of attraction. I act in a way that is positive, helpful, and kind. I don’t specifically do this to attract those people. I do it as I believe it’s the best way for me to live my life, it just so happens that by the law of attraction, my positivity attracts positive people.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just surrounded by negativity and negative people. Times like this mean spending time by myself or just with my family. That’s ok though, I’d rather be by myself than spend time around energy draining negativity. Spending time by myself or just with my family is actually a great way to charge my positivity batteries.
That’s what works for me. I’d love to hear what works for you. How do you deal with the negativity in your world? How do you keep your life positive?
Photo by soundfromwayout
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
How do you deal with the negativity in your world? Now this is a very real and very interesting question. I don’t think one could answer this in a book, let alone a comment block. I will approach it from what one of my early teachers talked about.
We are placed exactly where we are supposed to be By this he meant that everything fits, we have to realise that we are in everything and everything is in us. That when we encounter negative people we must become self aware, seeing that we really do not know, nor understand everything about the person. We have to see ourselves in the mirror so to speak. This brings forth real compassion and gives us some breathing room before we fire up the engines of negativity. We then have a better chance of not getting caught or identified with the situation.
For example, someone that insists that they “one up you”, is really speaking from a position of insecurity not strength. When we catch a glimpse of this it allows us the freedom to understand more about the person. This in turn, has a magical effect which automatically reduces the tension. The braggart then becomes a subject of genuine interest.
We will probably find out that his or her life, has been a horrible experience in dominance by intimate associates. He or she could never do the right thing according to their superiors (possibly parents). They developed the need to over compensate by always having one better.
You then begin to see the tortured soul, then magically your initial reaction of contempt is replaced with compassion. However this does not mean we have to immediately fix this persons life. We just remember, “they are exactly where they are supposed to be, to work on themselves”. By releasing the tension you give them room to work.
Excellent post Eric! A great catalyst for thought.
Eso
(PS I replied to your post on religion, however, I may have messed up on the coding. If this gets through please let me know if you received the other.)
.-= Eso´s last blog ..Even the thickness of a knife blade =-.
Eso, you gave an excellent summary to what could take volumes in a book. Your response actually mirrors portions of a book I’m reading, The Vortex. The book is about the law of attraction and our relationships with others.
Their outlook, is similar to what you express and one that I agree with. Everyone is exactly where they are supposed to be. We cannot control others, the only person we control is our self. By moving to a place of alignment with our true (or inner) self we enter a balance, where we can then attract the people and behaviors that we desire.
From this place of alignment it’s easier to do as you say, to view the other person’s underlying nature.
Great thoughts Eso, I really appreciate you sharing with us.
I’m supposed to be kicking my commenting problem but when I read this post I had to chip in. “I’m choosing positive, happy, helpful people to be around” Good for you Eric, so am I and I thank you for providing a place for that online. I think I’ve successfully removed many negative elements from my life but I’d lucky because I work from home so don’t have to deal with too many people – only those I choose to see:)
.-= Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot´s last blog ..How to Make a Wish =-.
Annabel, I’m happy to have forced you into commenting. The power of the force is strong here.
Working from home has that advantage of being able to choose who you spend time with. It’s also great because your family is the perfect breading ground for positivity.
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