Today’s post is something I’ve been thinking of and observing for several months now.  I have been watching how people interact.  More specifically I’ve been observing how people speak to one another.  And even more specifically how they offer unsolicited advice and sometimes even insults.  In doing so, they are sharing much more then they think.

Unsolicited Advice and Criticism

How many times are you in conversation with someone when they offered up some criticism?  You may be venting, talking about some problems, or simply having some friendly conversation.   Before long you find the other person telling you why your approach is all wrong and offering their own suggested fix.  Typically when we talk, we aren’t looking for criticism or advice.  Many of us use the art of conversation to get some issues out in the open.  Just to air them out so that we can more easily process them ourselves.

Sure enough, the other party doesn’t simply listen sympathetically.  They offer to help you fix the problem.  The problem with the fix is that most often the fixer doesn’t have a full picture of the situation.  They can’t.  It’s impossible unless they are living with you and spend every minute of the day with you.  Even then, they can’t be inside your head to feel what you feel and see what you see.  The suggestions they offer are based on their own life and their own experiences.  It’s like seeing a baby cry or a puppy whine.  You can guess what they think, how they feel, and what they need, but you just don’t always know.

Thus the criticism or advice we give is only from a single perspective.

The big problem I’ve noticed with unsolicited advice or criticism is that it often comes from a malevolent place rather than a place of purity.  Feelings of jealousy tend to seep in.

What right does the skinny girl have to complain about trying to stay thin? What right does a wealthy person have to complain about his financial situation?   How can the parents of five or ten children ever complain about all the effort involved in raising those kids?  How can a dog owner complain about their dog destroying their carpet, isn’t that what pets do?  These thoughts float around in the head of the advice giver.  The criticism and advice offered tends to lean in a negative direction, and often leads to insults.

It makes it hard to talk to people.  How can I discuss my issues to other people that have issues?

Insults

I have observed and participated in many conversations where insults were slid in.  There is never any reason to insult someone, yet it happens all the time. They are not typically blatant insults.  They are more subtle.  Often they take the form of “I would never do that.”

The black haired girl says to the blonde girl, “I would never go blonde, I like my black hair.”  The chunky girl says to the skinny girl, “I think most people in this world are too skinny.”  The parent of the chunky child says to the parent of the skinny child, “I think so-and-so’s kid has little tiny stick legs, I’m sure glad my child isn’t like that.”  One Jeep owner says to another, “I’d never go with those big gnarly mud tires; they’d be too loud on the road.”  The person without a fancy new car, swimming pool, or addition on the house says, “I would never want those, they are too much effort, cost, or maintenance.”

These are all insults.  You might think that I made up these examples, but these statements all occurred during actual conversations.

While taking the time to observe conversations, I was often disgusted at the way in which we behave while casually talking with our friends, and even with family.

We tend to feel a little better when we elevate ourselves above others.  We put them down so that we can feel better.  We give advice from a place of selfishness.  We insult others from a place of jealousy.  We get a quick buzz by putting others down.  We only feel better about ourselves and our own lives for a short time.  To keep feeling good about ourselves we have to put others down more often.  This self-perpetuates, and eventually becomes habit.

Through my careful, yet totally non-scientific, observations I have noticed one key principle.  It’s a tiny little secret that most people don’t realize.

When you offer insults, unsolicited advice, or criticism, the things you are sharing are a direct reflection on yourself.  Let me say that again.  Your unsolicited advice, criticism, and insults are a direct reflection of your very personal inner thoughts, feelings, and secrets. Even beyond that, it’s a reflection of your inner most fears.

The person that thinks everyone else is too skinny thinks he is too fat.  The person that insults your hair color has issues with her own hair.  The person that insults your choice in mud tires has issues with his own tire choice.  It goes on and on.

It is a little scary how easily we share these inner most thought and fears, without realizing we are doing it. Can you imagine telling others that you hate your weight and are jealous of the skinny person?  Can you imagine telling someone that you hate your financial situation and are jealous of the Joneses?  Imagine no more, you are doing it.  You do it every time you insult, talk down, offer unsolicited advice, or generally act in a negative manner towards someone.  You are actually sharing your inner most thoughts and fears.

Oh no!  What do I do?

I have a few ideas on things you can do to prevent sharing your darkest secrets and fears.

Practice being positive

Be happy for the person that just lost 10 pounds even while you struggle to lose half a pound.  Even if you feel like crushing those happy thoughts, find it within yourself to share in the happiness.  You will very quickly find that sharing a happy moment will bring more joy than crushing one.

Practice empathy

Set aside the jealousy and search your heart for empathy.  Feel the happiness that your friends are feeling.  Draw on the good feelings so that you can bring more good feelings into your own life.

Listen

Spend more time listening and less time talking, and think before you speak.  If you’re a talker, this one will take some practice.  We need talkers in this world.  If you are a talker you spark many great conversations.  But once it’s sparked, you also need to listen to make the conversation worth the time spent.  Just the other day I was talking to a talker, and this talker sparked some great conversation about some recent events.  The talker then proceeded to very quickly move on to another topic and the conversation was lost.  The act of listening will also allow you to consider the other people in the conversation and will allow you to more carefully choose your words and how much of your inner self you share.

Observe your conversations

Most of all, you need to start paying attention to your conversations, the words you choose, and the feelings you convey.

Homework

I don’t usually give out homework here, but I think this one will be worth your time.

During your conversations with others, pay attention to what the other participants are saying, and then consider how their words reflect on themselves.

Do this for one week.  Pay attention every time someone speaks and see what insights into their inner sanctum you can discover.

I want as many people as possible to start considering how they treat others, and how that treatment reflects on themselves.  I want more people to act out of compassion and empathy instead of jealousy and antipathy.

Please share this post

I rarely ask you to share any of my posts.  Today I am asking you to share this post.  Help me spread these ideas and awaken people to hurt they cause when they let their own fears dictate a conversation.  I want people to think before they speak.  I want them to love more, to accept more, and the empathize more.  Thank you.

There are large numbers of people in this world that are exploring realms beyond the physical world, or at least they are interested in learning about such things and are open to the possibilities.  There are also large numbers that don’t believe in anything they can’t see, feel, or touch.  I’m going to assume most of my readers are in the former category.

Metaphysics is a rather vague term.  When I use that term I’m referring to things like Out of Body Experiences (OBE), Near Death Experiences (NDE), Remote Viewing, Psychic Abilities, Intuition, Seeing Spirits or Ghosts, Reincarnation and Past Lives, and other such non-physical abilities or experiences.

Millions of books and many TV programs and movies reach into the area of metaphysics, so I know it’s a popular topic.  I’m sure many people are open to these ideas.  If they weren’t, there would be no market for all the books and media.

There is a stigma associated with these things.  They are rarely discussed in a public setting.  People are afraid of what others will think.  I’ve had some very brief conversations with people who I thought were open to such things.  The conversation starts out good, and then I can almost hear their mind slam shut when I step outside of their realm of belief.  Ridicule of such things has been a constant source of strife throughout the ages.  Think Spanish Inquisition or Salem Witch Trials.  So it’s understandable that stuff like this isn’t often discussed.

I fear the silence often continues inside the family dynamic.  Sometimes husbands and wives can’t even broach such topics.  I’m very lucky to have a wife that is open such things.

Given all that resistance I have been wondering how many families discuss this with their kids.  From everything I’ve read, children are often more attuned or more easily able to experience things of a metaphysical or nonphysical nature.  Many attribute this to the fact that they haven’t yet been exposed to a multitude of limiting beliefs.  That is to say, they haven’t been taught to believe that the metaphysical is  abnormal or impossible.

I think it is important to be open with kids about the possibilities of such metaphysical phenomena.  Often, even when parents are open to such things they forget to include their kids in their discussions.

I’ve been talking with a friend of mine, and he’s been learning some wonderful things about his son.  He and his son are on an amazing journey of discovery.  The cool thing is that they are openly discussing it and are learning together.

I know many parents that quickly kibosh any discussions of this nature or attribute them to wild imaginations due to their own belief structure, so to see the two exploring it together is really inspirational.

With my own daughter we have recently been discussing dreams.  I keep a dream journal where I write down all my dreams.  I was sitting at the table one evening writing in this journal, and my daughter asked me what I was doing.  I explained to her that I had some dreams and I was writing them down.  I told her about the dream as I was writing.  She told me she had some dreams too and I offered to add them to my journal.  She was so excited and immediately fetched a note pad and a pen.  She decided to write about her dreams too in her own journal.  She just turned five, so she’s not exactly writing on her own, but she can write the words if I spell them out for her.

She proceeded to tell me about one of her recent dreams and I wrote it out in my journal.  After I finished writing it, I spelled out the key words so she could enter a brief entry in her own journal.  She was absolutely glowing as she talked about her dreams.  It was such a great bonding experience.  It was also fun because I learned her dreams were almost as crazy as my own.  (I’ll have to share some of my dreams one day; I swear some of them would make a blockbuster movie.)

There are a couple of things to take out of these two little examples.

1)      Sharing discussions of the metaphysical can be a great bonding experience.

2)      Sharing these things will help your children feel normal, and know that these experiences are ok.

I have one more experience to share.  When I was about 12 years old I had an Out of Body Experience.  One night while I was sleeping I woke up on the ceiling.  I looked down and saw my body lying in my bed.  It startled me and I was immediately sucked back into my physical body.  To me at the time however, that feeling felt like I was getting sucked right out the window.  Not knowing what it was at the time I thought aliens were trying to suck me out the window with some sort of tractor beam.  There weren’t many peaceful alien type movies back then so it really scared the heck out of me.  I woke up and went into the living room where I figured I’d be safer.

My parents are pretty open to this sort of stuff, and we talked about some of this.  I don’t remember if we ever talked about out of body experiences or if I just didn’t piece it all together at the time.  I’m not sure when I finally figured out what had happened, it might have been through reading some books or it may have come in later discussions with my dad.

That example brings me to number three.

3)      Sharing these things will help to alleviate and prevent fear.

The unknown is a scary place.  By discussing these things, you take away some of the unknown.

One final reason that I can think of for discussing metaphysics with your kids is

4)      To expand your own beliefs and experiences.

Imagine all you could learn if your child is having some experiences.  It may just expand your own boundaries, and think of how special it could be to explore these things together.

There is a definite shift happening in our culture.  All the different facets of the metaphysical realm are becoming more accepted as possibilities.  With more and more children being told that these experiences are ok, we are helping to propel this shift.

If you have young kids, take a few minutes today and talk to them.  Here are some questions to ask.

Do you remember any of your dreams?

Are they scary dreams or nice dreams?

Could you tell me about some of your dreams?

Have you had any visits from a deceased relative? (insert name as appropriate)

Do you have any (non-physical) playmates?

Do you ever see or communicate with people that Mommy and Daddy can’t see?

Do you ever see angels?

Do you remember anything from before you were born?

What is your earliest memory?

Have you ever floated away from your bed?

Do you ever leave your physical body while you are sleeping?

Do you ever walk around in your sleep?

Do you ever have strange things happen that you don’t understand or can’t explain?

I’d like some input from my readers.  Do you have any experiences you’d like to share, and can you think of any more questions that would spark conversations with your kids?

I’ve seen quite a few blog posts recently about folks that are giving up gift giving for Christmas.  I’ve also seen a number of people recommend a donation to a charity as a good gift idea.  I’m going to throw my thoughts out there on these topics.  I think some folks have weighed too heavily in the anti-consumerism direction, and it’s time for a reality check.  A number of these folks are on my list of favorite bloggers too, yet still I feel I must disagree with them on a few items.  I also have a few suggestions to throw into the pot.

Let’s just get it out in the open.  Most of us are going to buy some gifts for loved ones this Christmas.  It’s fun to buy things; it’s fun to give; and it’s fun to receive.  I don’t know about you, but I love tearing open gift wrap to find the surprise contained within.  When I think back to the Christmases of my childhood, I recall many exciting Christmases that culminated in the opening of presents.  For weeks I would see presents pile up under the tree.  It would start with just a gift or two and slowly grow to a big pile of presents.  The anticipation was almost too much to bear.  I’d look at the presents, analyze the shape, shake the box a little, and try to guess what surprise each wrapped present contained.  That in and of itself created great memories.

Of all the bloggers that are going gift free, most are still buying or making some things for their kids.  Christmas is magical for kids.  Sure you can try to limit the impact of consumerism and choose toys carefully or limit the number of gifts, but please don’t ruin Christmas for your kids.

Suggestion number 1 – Wrap lots of stuff

Even if you are going light on gifts this year, wrap lots of stuff. It could be a single candy bar, an old teddy bear long since forgotten, hand crafted items, tickets to event, of gift cards.  Just make sure you wrap it.  Unwrapping is the best part.  It is a magical feeling to unwrap a surprise, even if it’s not the whiz-bang 5000.  Or even if you only get one whiz-bang 5000, it’s never enough to unwrap a single item.  Kids should have a bunch of stuff under the tree to experience the joy of unwrapping and the pleasure of discovering the surprise.

I can see where the feelings are coming from when folks talk about a giftless Christmas.  We are moving away from giving items to most of the extended family, and are instead giving gifts of experience.  This meant for the 13 people on my wife’s side of the family, our gift purchase was completed with a single phone call.  My side of the family will see similar results.  This actually meant, that for extended family we aren’t going visit a single store.  It feels fantastic to not be rushing around the crowded malls and toy stores.

For our daughter however, we will be buying some toys.  She loves to play, and part of her play includes toys.  That has meant a couple of trips to a couple of stores, but that is fun shopping, because our daughter is the most special person in the world to us, so we get the joy of surprising her with gifts she’s mentioned throughout the year and on thoughtfully added to her wish list.

Another reason I see people discussing giftless or more carefully thought out gifts is because in today’s society, full of inexpensive doodads, whenever we need something, we buy it.  Maybe in the olden days people would wait until Christmas, but today we buy what we need when we need it.  That makes gift giving a lot harder.  There aren’t many good gift items that are a necessity or even a luxury.  More often than not it’s just unneeded junk.

Suggestion number 2 – Gifts of experience

Consider gifts of experience. Things like sporting event tickets, family trips together, tickets to a play, show, or movie, or other activities that can be done together.  These are gifts that will be remembered long after all the ‘physical’ gifts items are forgotten, broken, or given away.  For example, we gave out tickets to the monster truck show last year, and it still gets talked about at family gatherings.

I am seeing a lot of buzz about giving the gift of charitable donations.  I’m going to flat out say it.  Do not give me a gift of a donation to charity.  If I want to donate to a charity, I’ll do it myself.  I have strong opinions on certain charities, and if you made a donation to one on my behalf, that would be an anti-gift.

For example, I enjoy driving my Jeep in the woods.  I drive on legal trails and roads in order to explore the outdoors and enjoy nature.  Some environmental organizations that may actually do good work in certain areas are opposed to forest users traveling by vehicle.  In fact many are actively trying to close trails to vehicle traffic so the forest may remain in a pristine condition that can’t actually be seen and enjoyed by anyone.  If someone who knew of my love for the outdoors donated to one of those organizations on my behalf, I’d actually be a little miffed.

One other thing I have yet to see anyone mention when discussing charitable donations as Christmas gifts is the associated tax deductions.  If I get a gift noting that a donation has been made in my honor, the first thing I’m going to think is, “great, I get nothing and the giver gets a tax deduction.”  Yes, I have a selfish streak.  I couldn’t find much info on the web, but from what I could tell, the giver gets the tax deduction.  If anyone knows more about the tax implications of giving the gift of a charitable donation, please share in the comments section.

Honestly, if you are going to make a donation to charity in my honor, I’d rather just hear that you decided to donate to charity instead of giving gifts. Really that’s what you are doing, so we may as well call it what it is.

Suggestion number 3 – Think twice about charitable donations as a gift

Before gifting a charitable donation in the honor of someone, carefully consider the person you are donating to and whether they would be happy to receive a gift of this nature. Charity donations are often very personal in nature.  I would compare it to giving a gift of undergarments.  If you don’t know the person well enough to buy them a new pair of underwear, you might want to carefully consider whether a charitable donation is an appropriate gift.  If you still think a donation is a great gift then go for it!  If the giver and receiver are open to it, I think a charitable donation would make a great gift.

I’m not completely refuting everything the Giftless/Charity Gift crowd is preaching.  Most are simply venting against a consumerist society, and there is merit in that.  Others are looking at it in a more practical matter, as many people go into serious debt during Christmas.  And, in general, giving to charity is a wonderful thing.  Even so, I think the majority of society isn’t ready for these messages.  That’s part of what bloggers do though, is to share the messages that society isn’t ready to here.  It’s what I typically do here as well.  If you want one that society really isn’t ready to hear, check out my post on gifting only to the person you love the most.    Today though, I’m taking a more realistic stance, hoping to skirt the line between the over commercialized version of Christmas, and the no gift version.  I believe there is some middle ground, and I think that’s the sweet spot to be in this wonderful holiday season.

Love it?  Hate it?  Let me hear from you in the comments section.

I live for the time I spend with my family.  Coming home to a great big hug makes the 9 to 5 worthwhile.  I enjoy every single second of the time I’m home with my family.  Just last night, as soon as I got home from work, my daughter pulled me into the family room for some tackle hugs.  She grabbed my hand and pulled me to a good spot clear of furniture where she ran towards me, and tackled me in a knock down roll around hug.  Simple things like that can truly be the highlight of my day.

Today’s post is about family.  I’ve joined up with other bloggers in something called Random Acts of Kick Arse (RAOKA.)  The name is kind of silly, but I think that was kind of the point.  On the first Wednesday of each month, a group of us blog about a single topic.  It’s similar to my campfire series, but instead of combining in a single post, we post to our own blogs and link to each other.  Today’s topic is family.

We just celebrated our thirteenth wedding anniversary.    For nine of those years, we had a family of two.  It was just my wife and me, and we were happily plugging along.  We enjoyed the time we had together and enjoyed the freedom of being childless.  Our decision to have a child came after much discussion (and some voice of intuition.)  We planned and prepared as much as we could.

Then, after nine years in a family of two, our family grew by one, and we became a family of three.  I have four great days in my memory banks.  Days that were absolutely fantasticly wonderful days.  These are red letter days.  Days that I remember above all others.  All four of those days revolve around family, and I’d like to share them with you.

1)  The Family of Two

The first of my wonderful memory days is the day I entered into a family of two.  It was the day I got married.  I can remember it like it was yesterday.  Standing there, waiting for my fiancé to walk down the aisle to become my wife.  The day was a blur of activity, yet I remember one thing very clearly; seeing her for the first time in her wedding dress as she walked toward me.  She looked amazing and I felt love as though my heart would burst.  That was the beginning of our family of two.

2)  The Family of Three

The day my daughter was born.  Childbirth is scary, no doubt about it.  I can’t tell you how many movies I’ve seen where the wife dies in childbirth.  I guess it happened a lot before proper medical supervision.  I thought about the safety of my wife and my unborn daughter.  I was scared but my wife didn’t know it.  I hid that and told her everything would be fine, supporting her and encouraging her.  It wasn’t until much later that I told her of the fear I held on that glorious day.  She was surprised, so I suppose I hid it well.  The birth went great.  The doctor actually asked if I wanted to deliver the baby, but I decided to leave that to the professionals.  Instead I stood by my wife, encouraging her, and watching the amazing process of child birth.  Everything worked out great, and all of sudden I was a dad.

3) Daughter’s Daddy

The day I realized I wasn’t always “Eric” any more, instead I would forever be known as “daughter’s daddy.”  (With her name inserted in the place of “daughter.”  I’ve decided to keep her name off of the Internet.)  This day came unexpectedly.  I was in the front yard doing some yard work.  One of the neighbors was walking by, and she said to her kids, “that’s daughter’s daddy.”    It hadn’t hit me that I would no longer be known as Eric, but as daughter’s daddy.  It was a great feeling; losing one identity and gaining a new and improved one.  A new identity tied to my daughter.

That little story has an interesting twist.  A short time later after my daughter learned to talk she decided that daddy wasn’t the best name.  You see, my wife calls me by my first name, Eric.  She has pet names too, and usually refers to me as daddy when talking to my daughter, but mostly it’s Eric.  And Eric certainly gets my attention the best.  Well, my daughter decided that “Eric” was the best way to refer to me too.  After all, that’s what mommy calls me, and it always gets my attention.  She knows I’m her daddy, and every once in a while she’ll call me daddy, but most of the time it’s Eric.  I’m happy with this, and I really like it that she decided on her own the most special name to call me.  I think my parents were a bit surprised the first time they heard it, as most everyone is, but I think they’ve finally come around to accepting it.  You should see the look on my friends faces the first time they hear this tiny little girl call me by my first name.

4) Full Time with the Family

The fourth of my most memorable days is the day I was laid off.  I went into detail on this topic in an earlier post, so you can check that out for all the details.  To sum it up, for three months I was unemployed and got to spend every minute of the day at home with my family.  For three months, I got to thoroughly enjoy every single second of every single day.  I would have never taken three months off in the middle of my career, and I am very happy that it was forced upon me. I was the best time of my entire life.

There you have it.  My four fondest memories and they all revolve around family.  Now it’s your turn to join in the RAOKA movement.  Share your thoughts on family.  Do you have some great memories?   Would you share them with us in the comments section?

Each month we pick a new topic to share.  Interested in joining the movement?  Contact Lori for details.

Be sure to check out the other blogs in this month’s RAOKA by heading over to Jane Be Nimble.



I was just at the store perusing the Valentine’s Day cards hoping to get a jump on the holiday.  Instead, I came away a bit frustrated.  Since when did a Valentine’s Day card become an apology?  More than half of all the cards I read through went like this:

I know we don’t always get along, but…

I haven’t always been the best husband…

We’ve been through some ups and downs…

We’ve had our share of hard times…

I hope that black eye heals up…

Ok, I made the last one up, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see that on a card.  Who wants to hear about bad stuff on Valentine’s Day?  A day to celebrate love and togetherness should not be the time to apologize for all the wrongs or bring up the bad times of the past.  It’s a time to celebrate a life together, to look to the future, to reminisce about the wonderful events of the past, and pronounce the love and sentiment that may not be spoken during the course of a normal day.  Every year, I spend a lot of time, reading through all the cards on the shelf, trying to pick out the one that expresses my sentiments.  Each year, I can only find one or two on the entire rack of cards that come close to expressing my feelings.  Well, today at the card store, I couldn’t find a single card.  I left the store without a Valentine’s Day card.

So, what am I to do?  Well, I have a few ideas.  I may create my own card.  I might write a love letter.  I might try another card store.  I’m not real sure which direction I’ll go, but I’m leaning towards writing something myself.  This way I can express my true sentiments; sentiments that are not likely to be in any off the shelf card.

As I was searching for ideas, I composed this list of ways to share an expression of love.

1. Create or modify a Valentine’s Card
   http://www.stvalentinesday.org/valentines-day-cards.html
2. Write a love letter
   http://www.stvalentinesday.org/valentines-day-love-letters.html
3. Share a favorite poem
   http://www.stvalentinesday.org/valentines-day-poem.html
4. Share a favorite quote
   http://www.stvalentinesday.org/valentines-day-love-quotes.html
5. With kids’ toys
   http://www.theromantic.com/stories/valentines/valentines15.htm
6. Create a memory poster
   http://www.theromantic.com/stories/valentines/valentines12.htm
7. Modify a book
   http://www.theromantic.com/stories/valentines/valentines7.htm
8. Inspiration Jar
   http://www.theromantic.com/stories/valentines/valentines4.htm

Do you have any Valentine’s Day card, letter, or other creative greeting ideas?  I’d love to hear them.

Image by Blue Stone Graphics

I’m not feeling like a lot of thinking today, so I’m going with a simple post tonight.  I started my new job yesterday, and my brain is tapped from all the new stuff.  New people, new places, new policies and procedure, new computer systems, etc.  With all that stuff sloshing around in my noggin, there’s not room for much else tonight.  So far, the new job is going great.  It seems like a great bunch of people, and looks like I will enjoy the work.

I hope everyone is having a good new year.  We had a great Christmas.  We spent time with grandparents on both sides of the family and our daughter had a blast opening presents.  She really got into it this year, and it was truly a joy to watch her excitement.

I was able to take some time off between jobs, and we took a few days for a little vacation to Savannah, GA.  We stayed right in the Historic District and toured some of the old houses and a couple of museums.  The town is absolutely beautiful and full of history.  Many of the houses here were built in the early 1800s, and all the historic houses had a small plaque showing the date it was built.  It was really neat to walk among all the old houses.

I missed posting on Thursday.  I was busy spending a wonderful evening with my family on Christmas Eve.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and I wish you all a happy, safe, and prosperous New Year!

I wanted to take a break from some of my “thinking” posts and just chit chat with my readers.  I calling it mish mash free for all, as that’s what popped into my head.  I often find it enjoyable to just read what’s going on in the life of my favorite bloggers, so that’s what this post is all about.  What’s up with me, and anything else I feel like rambling about.

Fun at Disney

We went to Disney’s Magic Kingdom last weekend.  We have annual passes, so we go quite often.  Every time we visit any of the Disney parks, we have a blast.  Our daughter is three years old, and it’s a magical age.  She thoroughly enjoys Disney, especially the princesses and fairies.  On this particular trip, we headed out to the park around 2:00pm.  We usually go for just half a day, and this time we decided to catch the fireworks show.  I’m going to let you in on a couple little secrets.  The Magic Kingdom has a special parking area for AAA diamond guests, these are guests that book their vacation through AAA.  This parking is very close to the front gate, so close there is no tram stop here.  Here’s the first secret… If you go to the park in the afternoon, nobody monitors this parking area, you can just drive up and get a great parking spot.

It’s very hard to pick a day that is less crowded than others.  I am baffled at the seemingly random days that are either packed or empty.  This day was probably an average day, with 30-60 minute lines on most rides.  Since it gets darker earlier, the fireworks were at 8:00, even though the park was open until 10:00.  Here comes the next secret…  after the fireworks, most everyone left!  That meant we were able to get on rides with NO LINES AT ALL!  Before the fireworks, we rode 4 rides in about 4 hours.  After the fireworks, we rode 7 rides in an hour and a half.

Through the Eyes of a Child

I’d like to share some pictures my daughter took.  We upgraded our camera a couple years ago, and still had the old one laying around.  We gave it to our three year old daughter figuring no big deal if it gets broken.  Well, she’s really taken to it, and managed to figure out how to work it.  I’m finding it a great way to view the world through the eyes of a child.

New Kitten

We got a new kitten the other day.  A neighbor found him abandoned and brought him home, but due to a dog/cat conflict of interest, the cat had to go.  I mentioned it to my wife when she got home, and the immediate response was YES!  Well, I wasn’t expecting a yes so quickly, but I knew that my daughter would love to have a cat.  I must mention at this point that we do already have one cat.  He’s part Siamese, and is very skittish.  The slightest little thing frightens him, and he is terrified of the high pitch shrieks that can come out of my three year old daughter.  In her entire three years in this life, she has only been able to pet him a handful of times.  So, needless to say, she is ecstatic with the new kitten.  He will actually sit still, while she pets him, and they chase each other all around the house.   We offered to let her name the new cat, and she immediately came up with a name.  It’s like she didn’t have to think about it at all.  So, we have a new cat named “Bunny Bunny.”

A Little Entertainment at Home

I’m excited that Netflix is finally making their Instant View movies available on the PlayStation 3.  I’ve been waiting for a way to view their streaming movies in my living room.  We don’t have cable television, so we do a lot of Netflix instead.  Also in PS3 news, I’ve been playing a lot of Ratchet and Clank lately.  In case you are wondering Ratchet and Clank is my all-time favorite game/series, and I was so excited that the new one came out.  It’s one of the few games that I’ll actually pay full price for.

A Great Day Jeepin’

The weather Saturday was amazing.  Not a cloud in the sky all day, and the temperature was just right.  A perfect day to take the top down on the Jeep.  In the morning I participated in the Orlando Veteran’s Day Parade with the Orlando Jeep Club.  Every year we participate in this parade to provide transportation to various veteran’s groups, especially for the older veterans that would have difficulty walking the one mile parade route.  In the past, we have ridden with the Tuskegee Airmen, the Battle of the Bulge Veterans, and the Daughters of the American Revolution.  It’s always a good time to meet people that have been part of history.  This year, we didn’t get assigned a group, and just had a few Jeeps recruited for transportation.  We were all a little disappointed, but still had a great time participating in the parade. 

To top of a great day of top down Jeepin’, we had our monthly meeting at the New Smyrna speedway to watch some auto racing.  We were invited by the owner of the track to do a parade lap around the track before the start of the race, and he also gave us free tickets to stay and watch the races.   We’ve done parade laps before at the Daytona International Speedway, and that was cool due to the venue, but they were very strict with the rules, and our top speed was maybe 5 mph.  On this night however, we cooked it around the New Smyrna Speedway at about 45 mph, which is pretty fast for a lifted Jeep around a race track.  By the time we left at about 10:30pm, the temperature had dropped, so I bundled up, turned on the heat, and enjoyed the drive home with the cool wind whipping around inside the Jeep.

Free for All

Well, that’s about all I have.  I just wanted a day to keep things light, and for you to get to know me a little better.  I want to thank everyone that reads my blog, and those that leave comments.  Comments are very important for us bloggers, as it helps us gauge reaction to our content.  I also want to thank my fellow bloggers, many of whom support my blog by leaving comments.  I’d like to give a little back to these fellow bloggers.  Since today is a free for all day, the comments will be free for all as well.  Feel free to plug your blog, include links, or say anything you’d like.  (I’ll check the spam filter in case any of you get flagged, and push those posts through as I see them.)  I am giving you free reign to advertise you blog, your, website, or you products in today’s comments section!  Have fun!

Vacations are a time for traveling, relaxing, and enjoying sites and amusements.  Sounds blissful, right?  Well, it is, however vacations can often be very stressful too.  Think of all the planning, scheduling, flying, driving, walking, and all the money spent.  I’m stressed just thinking about it!  I thought about this topic on a recent trip to Disney World.  We are lucky enough to live in Central Florida and have annual passes to the Disney parks.  We often see families consumed by anger and rage during various parts of the day.  The most recent occurred at lunch time at the Crystal Palace, a buffet style restaurant at Disney’s Magic Kingdom.  The mom yelled to her daughter “I didn’t pay twelve dollars so you could eat grapes!”  A definite case of money related vacation stress.  I’ve seen parents full on yelling and spanking/slapping/beating their kids.  In an effort to “save the children” and make things easier on the entire family, I’m offering these tips that I have practiced when frequenting the theme parks.   While these tips are specifically geared around theme park vacations, most also apply to vacations to any destination.

Plan

My number one recommendation is to have a good plan.  Make out a schedule of what you’d like to accomplish and include times and locations.  Write it down and communicate this plan with the family so that everyone buys in to the plan.  When planning account for travel time and realize that some events require you to arrive early.  This is especially true for shows and parades at the theme parks.  Figure out ahead of time which rides/shows you or the kids are most interested in, and hit those first.  Also, plan to stand in lines… many, many lines.

Be Flexible

Understand that the perfect plan you just made may not work out.  There are so many variables when visiting theme parks it’s practically impossible to account for everything.  You may be amazed at how long it takes to just enter the park.  Then once you’re in, you have to walk great distances to arrive at your intended ride/show/destination within the park.  Also realize that you won’t likely complete everything you intended to.  Make sure you hit your favorite rides/shows first, so that you don’t end up disappointed if you run out of time later in the day.

Proper footwear and clothing

This is a personal pet peeve of mine.  I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen someone in high heels, unsupportive flip flops, long sleeves, or all black.  You’re at a theme park; much of your time will be spent outside in the heat, and you will walk a lot.  Dress for the weather.  Cold or hot, dress appropriately.  Wear good supportive shoes.  I read somewhere that an average theme park visitor will walk ten miles a day.  Try ten miles in high heels, and tell me how your feet feel.

Budget

This is a tough one for most of us.  Vacations are expensive and put a strain on the budget; especially theme park vacations.  Decide how much you are willing to spend, both in total, and daily.  Budget all your meals, and plan for some snacks and drinks throughout the day.  Everything at theme parks is expensive; from the hotels to entry tickets to food.  Plan for these expenses ahead of time so that you are comfortable with the costs and you don’t have to worry about the money.

Eat

This may sound obvious, but try to eat meals at your normal intervals.  Don’t put off eating to squeeze in another ride.  I know nothing makes me more irritable than to be operating on an empty stomach.  Some theme parks offer meal plans.  This may be a good option to help with the budget and meal planning.

Bring Drinks and Snacks

Most theme parks will allow you to bring in your own snacks and drinks.  Take advantage of this and bring some snacks for the family.  It’s also a very good idea to bring bottled water, especially in the warmer climates.  It’s pretty easy to get dehydrated walking around all day in the hot sun.  By bringing in your own water can save some money and save the hassle of waiting in lines for drinks.  Even if you don’t bring your own, it’s still a good idea to take a break and have a snack, which brings me to the next item.

Take a break

Walking all day will wear you out.  Throw in the heat, long lines, and crowds, and you’ll needs some down time.  Most theme parks have a kid’s area or a play area of some sort.  These are great spots for the parents to sit down for a few minutes, while the kids stay entertained.  As you are walking through the park, make note of the quiet shady areas.  I’ve found several nice spots at Magic Kingdom and Epcot that are relatively crowd free and shaded.  These spots are golden in my book, as they are great places to sit down and relax for a few minutes.

Take a nap

If you are staying at a nearby hotel, you may consider heading back to the room for a nap.  Early afternoon after lunch would be a good time.   This is the hottest and busiest time of the day.  During the summer months, most parks are open late, so you’ll have plenty of time to get back to the fun.

Remember you’re on vacation!

My final recommendation is to remember that this is a vacation!  You are here to enjoy yourself and have a good time with your family.  If you feel the stress level rising, take a deep breath and remember why you are here!

Do you have a vacation stress story you’d like to share?  Or perhaps you have more recommendations on stress free vacationing.  I’d love to hear from you in the comments section.

Photo by Robert D Bruce.
Reiki Music